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[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted.
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[JetBlack87]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig."

[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar.
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[IronPoke]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair.

[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[GrinfilledCelt]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."
_________________


Songs for the flash frozen.

[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[JetBlack87]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[GrinfilledCelt]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."
_________________


Songs for the flash frozen.

[JetBlack87]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."

"Oh yeah, then what are these?"

[IronPoke]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."

"Oh yeah, then what are these?"

Skeptic though he was, Ted felt a massive nosebleed in the works while the troll/narutobabe thingy blinded him in its headlights.

[swollenlymphnodes]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."

"Oh yeah, then what are these?"

Skeptic though he was, Ted felt a massive nosebleed in the works while the troll/narutobabe thingy blinded him in its headlights. The troll/narutobabe thingy laughed as Ted was mired in gallons of his own nosebleed and then declared that Ted had better carry out her/it's/his contract to assasinate Prince.
_________________
nodes aka GTBaka
eh?
*Eternally Lurking*

[IronPoke]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."

"Oh yeah, then what are these?"

Skeptic though he was, Ted felt a massive nosebleed in the works while the troll/narutobabe thingy blinded him in its headlights. The troll/narutobabe thingy laughed as Ted was mired in gallons of his own nosebleed and then declared that Ted had better carry out her/it's/his contract to assasinate Prince.

The troll yanked on some sort of chain and suddenly a fifty-ton weight dropped from nowhere, smashing Ted through Heaven's floor and sending him plunging back to the world below.

[Hungry Mongoose]

Once upon a time, there was a vagrant vagabond, not very bright, warrior. He was a very tall man, having to duck under most doorframes. He had dark hair and glassy, deep brown eyes that complimented his rich, dark skin. And most importantly, his name was Ted. He was also a United States Senator, though God knows why. (Especially since he was a Mexican; who knew they were into politics?) Anyway, Ted was wandering through a rice paddy in search of an inn to rest his weary feet. What made him think that he would ever find an inn in the middle of a rice field may well have something to do with the fact that he was a hopeless drunk. As he trudged along, he fell into a paddy that was unusually deep, and drowned. His family, however, received no news of this for years, and by the time they had, they'd forgotten about him!

"Well, that's what happened to that big dumb oaf!" his father proclaimed.

"Ted? Ted who?" said his mother.

"Those fools, how could they forget their own progeny?" thought Boris his loyal dog.

As time lagged on, Boris began to have more thoughts worse than these, wishing to actually harm the fools. While Ted's loyal pup plotted this family's massacre and the hapless next of kin carried on about their daily business (blissfully unaware of the dog's murderous intent), the ill-fated Ted awoke with a massive hangover at the bottom of the Stairway to Heaven. "Ugh, ouch, my noggin..." lamented the confused Ted, "they could have just asked me to get rid of the General Lee sig." He climbed to the top of the stairway to Heaven only to find a glowing troll who offered him three wishes if he accepted a contract to assasinate his arch-nemesis, a handsome prince named Prince, who was mightily handy at the electric guitar. But before the troll could finish his speech, Ted hastily made his first wish, to have blue hair. Apalled by the audacity to wish prematurely, the troll fell to the floor in seizures and puff of smoke only to reveal a very voluptuous blonde beauty clothed in the most revealing of lingerie.

"Stop fooling around, Naruto!" spat Ted, "You still haven't completed the mission I hired you for."

"Wait a minute! Who hired who?!?" retorted the troll-turned-buxom-blonde, "and who said my name is Naruto?!?"

"Oh," said Ted, "I had you mistaken for Naruto, my ninja/blonde love-child."

"I'm a fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie, how could anyone mistake me for a whiskered little ninja?"

"He has this trick where he... oh nevermind. And you're not a 'fricken hot babe, in fricken hot lingerie,' you're a stinkin' troll."

"Oh yeah, then what are these?"

Skeptic though he was, Ted felt a massive nosebleed in the works while the troll/narutobabe thingy blinded him in its headlights. The troll/narutobabe thingy laughed as Ted was mired in gallons of his own nosebleed and then declared that Ted had better carry out her/it's/his contract to assasinate Prince.

The troll yanked on some sort of chain and suddenly a fifty-ton weight dropped from nowhere, smashing Ted through Heaven's floor and sending him plunging back to the world below.

Meanwhile, in his secret lair/doghouse, Boris was putting the finishing touches on his diabolical and needlessly complicated scheme.