I need critics!! My only reader is too nice!

jjjynx · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:11 am Post subject:

huh? I thought you're gonna do it without us saying anything.

Dread_Knight^Samurai · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 8:02 am Post subject:

*a moment of eerie silence*
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The mark of my divinity shalt scar thy DNA.

Hungry Mongoose · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:43 am Post subject:

I'll say something once I get around to reading it. Seems you can churn these out faster than I can digest them, which seems unnatural. Then again, I'm pretty lazy.
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PARTY TIME.

Dread_Knight^Samurai · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:20 pm Post subject:

*once again....an eerie silence looms before this thread*

P/S:- Dread knight says he has no comment.
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The mark of my divinity shalt scar thy DNA.

Zippy T · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:22 pm Post subject:

0o I didnt' realize Lucious was so tall....I must've missed that part (sweatdrop) Hey, quick question. Why arent' the adults more careful with Zensekai in the beginning of the story. I mean, things are still dangerous right now yet Kentori leaves him alone in the Coast of World Trade? I dunno, it seems kinda reckless compared to how they are in the rest of the story.

Sorra · Otaku Joined: 12 May 2006 Posts: 440 Location: San Jose

[beacuse that's the only way I could think of to smuggle him out of the castle to Lucious's 0o plus they all think if Zensekai can survive living with Minos he can take care of himself most the time... plus they're not attached to him emotionally yet.]

Thanks Dread!! lol you revived this thing. Yeah I wanted someone to tell me when to post the next part in case you guys were all busy that day or something. 0o I'll post the next one now that I see you've been waiting.

Sorra · Otaku Joined: 12 May 2006 Posts: 440 Location: San Jose

[Little 8 year old Zensekai in his leaf-headband and kimono-like clothes sleeps cuddled up in a queen size white sheeted bed. Its canopy is a neutral white so as to not be too girly or boyish. The walls are made to ressemble cut stone. By the light coming from the window blinds it’s already day break. Zensekai squirms a little then wakes up. Zensekai at first is just trying to wake up then after getting out of bed looks over to see the bed wasn’t his own and jumps out of surprise. He unhappily grabs a pillow to hug while looking around the area worried. He hurls himself back on the bed when he jumps up again from hearing Lucious’s voice from the hall. After a moment he decides he’s ok and peeks through his door at the speaking voices.]

Lucious’s wife: You’re sure dear? You couldn’t find his parents?

Lucious: I looked ALL OVER but I’m sure the reason I couldn’t find them was because they weren’t there.

Wife: Well I suppose, after all they wouldn’t have been hard to find. You don’t see a bay with red hair that often in these days, his parents, or at least one of them would have to have red hair too. Judging by how the boy’s dressed they weren’t disguising themselves.

Lucious: I agree. I searched from one end of the Coast of World Trade to the other twice! No one the appropriate age I asked knew him.

Wife: He’s definitely from the royal family. Do you think his parents could be in hiding?

Lucious: If so, something terrible must have happened, some bad, foul subject to make them leave him at the Coast like that. I’ll ask around the loops, but it’ll be difficult without knowing the boy’s name.

Wife: Didn’t you ask him?

Lucious: He simply refused to tell me!

Wife: Well that would probably mean he was in hiding dear.

Lucious: We’ll have to look after him for the time being. However long that may be, it’s the only thing we can do…

Wife: Yes, who knows what they would do with him if the Shingai found him.

Lucious: Wouldn’t it be great if he took a liking to Marin?

Wife: (sighs) Lucious, oh dear…. We have years to find someone to betrowthe her to…

Zippy T · Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:56 am Post subject:

Uh...yeah, i don't know what to say right now, so yeah.....hi.

jjjynx · Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:25 am Post subject:

how about, "go on"?

Zippy T · Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:22 am Post subject:

ok, sure. Go on.....bring on the next section! I wanna get to Cisco already!

Shiine-chan · Otaku Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 256 Location: unknown

Wait how many sections are there already? Ok. I'll start reading on the next section...
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Zippy T · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:09 am Post subject:

There's six sections so far.

Zippy T · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:09 am Post subject:

There's six sections so far.

jjjynx · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 12:13 pm Post subject:

And there will be only six if this keeps up. Are the two of you busy?

Zippy T · Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:14 pm Post subject:

who? me and sorra?